Book Review

Artie Lange takes the ancient tradition of comedy born from tragedy to its extremes in his memoir, Too Fat To Fish. During his eight years with The Howard Stern Show, Lange elicited as many laughs as cringes with his self-destructive behavior. From his brutally honest tales of drug addiction, to an on-air fist fight with his assistant, Lange's highs and lows were on display for millions of listeners.

Fans of The Howard Stern Show may be surprised to learn that there are some stories even Lange finds too difficult to share on-air. These painful events are recounted with Lange's signiture self-deprecating sense of humor in Too Fat To Fish, but the attempts at levity in the more serious sections are rarely enough to produce a smile. Lange opens up about a suicide attempt in, "Wah! I'm Out of Cocaine! Wah".

The chapter opens, "The key to a great radio show and great comedy of any kind is honesty. My goal is for this book to exist as the most honest piece of work I have ever done. The only way to do that is for me to put things on the page that I couldn't share on the air or in any public forum. The story contained here is the most personal revelation I can possibly make and not something that I see much comedy in."

The confessional passages serve as occasion reminders of the consequences of Lange's lifestyle, to avoid glamorizing his wild behavior and heavy drug use. Lighter-hearted stories are also mixed in to make the book a more enjoyable read. A strong affection for his deased father is obvious when Lange writes of their time spent together. The highlight of Lange's memoir is his story of the Yankee's 1977 World Series win. Lange and his father attend game six, where the Yankees have a chance to win it all, and the two manage to sneak to the front row as the ninth inning winds down. When the final out seals the Yankee's World Series victory, Artie Lange Sr. hurls his son over the police line and onto the field.

Even this moment of elation becomes bittersweet when Lange writes, "To this day, I have never been as happy as I was at that moment. I think that deep down, subconsciously, I have been chasing that feeling ever since. I've done heroin over and over again, but it never measured up to a fraction of what I felt that night."

Too Fat To Fish isn't something to pick up for a quick laugh. Lange's battles with substance abuse and depression are often more sad than funny. A recommendation can only be given to readers who are already fans of Lange's dark brand of humor, and are interested in taking a deeper look into his psyche.

Spring Break

My spring break kicked off with a thud. It was the Friday before spring break and I was at work, playing outfield in our usual kickball game. I work in an after school care program and take pride in my dominance over the kids in kickball, especially the fifth grade boys who tend to get a little big for their britches. The de facto leader of the fifth grade boys stepped up to the plate, so I kicked off my sandals to prevent any encumbrance when running for the catch. He kicked a high pop-up into right field behind the swing set and I took off at full tilt in pursuit. By the time I reached the ball it was only a foot off the ground, but I got both hands on it then, bang! I had run full speed into the swing set pole with my right foot sending me face first into the artificial turf. Trying my hardest to be macho I tried to play it off like no big deal, but the entire playground had heard the thwack of my foot against the pole and I was in agony. My toes had bent backwards upon impact so my foot took the majority of the hit. This resulted in a broken metatarsal and swelling so bad my toes couldn't touch the ground for a week. My dad being a doctor saved me from a hospital bill; he got a boot from work for me to hobble around in for the next month. My planned trip to Atlanta was ruined, but I still had a fun spring break nerding it up with Street Fighter all night and day.